I refocused on her eyes and pulled up short. There was lust there, an incredible field of fiery desire but that’s not what stopped me. I also saw love and trust shining out at me and that slowed me down enough to think about what we were doing. Allison had not been raped by me, I now accepted that, but I had done something to her and now I was doing it to Mandy.Amanda had never been attracted to any boys or men as far as I knew so the kiss we shared was completely unprecedented. She shouldn’t be feeling or acting this way and as much as I needed to slide myself into her depths, I couldn’t do that to her like this. The gentle smile she had been wearing turned forlorn at my retreat which caused my newfound resolve to falter. My hunger used gap in my resolve to burn hotter within me and I barely croaked out “wait, please” under its influence.I took a moment to remind myself that I could choose my actions no matter how much my impulses tried to convince me otherwise before speaking.. Goddam it, this was not the time! I shook my head at the man. "I would think not, my man," I said in an officious, almost contemptuous manner - and the manner signalled that I had understood his message - "And a Polaroid could hardly do justice to my wife. Come back when you have a better make." The man began to sputter - another code that he had finished - and I proceeded to shut the door in his face.I came back into the bedroom and picked up a magazine, ostentatiously to read, actually to mislead the ops watching, while I tried to think of a solution to the dilemma. Shorting the video circuit was out - especially when I wasn't supposed to have any idea I was being watched. I could take Rebacca out for a walk, explain the situation - but one doesn't walk at night in Manhattan. Not even operatives like us.The only way I could think was to actually 'consummate' our 'marriage.' And I had a pretty strong feeling she wasn't going to like it if I pulled off the nonsense. And I didn't.
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